I’m not sure about the freeze but I definitely pull off a lot of waves out of fear of the drop. I don’t know if that’s what you mean. Like you I had an accident when I was little a fall and I can still feel the moment that I lost my balance and fell. That instant when you are breathing in and suddenly your breath is cut off as you realise what is going to happen next. Then there’s a moment of no memory, it returns and you find yourself on the ground with a broken wrist, a broken jaw, no front teeth left and blood everywhere. Now you can argue that I won’t get hurt falling in the water but I might because I have developed an unconscious idiotic habit of trying to equalise my ears sometimes when I fall off. In trying to force my breath out my ears it feels like I am rupturing an ear drum. It causes my eyeballs to turn circles in my head. Took me ages to work out what was causing this. I went to Dr, eardrums fine. Thought the water was rushing in my ear, tried earplugs, thought they were helping until they didn’t. I was a swimmer up til I was 18, never had ear problems then. Only reason I can think for doing it is learning to scuba dive. Anyway it is happening less but I do still do it

Too much to be conscious of at the moment.

Lastly there are four phases of learning, do you know them

Unconsciously incompetent

Consciously incompetent

Consciously competent

Unconsciously competent

Right now, I am consciously incompetent

At the moment I feel I have to think about, visualise everything because it feels so foreign to what I’m used to - stand sideways, feet nice and wide apart, head down and bum up. I can post the very embarrassing video if you would like. Yes I thought there was a lot to think about with this particular drill but I am not talking to myself like that in the water. I don’t have to think then until I am on my feet and trying to get into my new stance my OMBE stance. I’m not sure what you mean about feel. It doesn’t feel natural say when I go to compress for instance. When I do so, 9 x out of 10 my right knee hurts because of the pressure exerted on it. I have had a sway in my lower back my entire life. I have done a lot of work to correct that but to compress with it tucked under without any bend from the hips is new for me so I have to think about that as well. I do walking lunges all the time at the gym but never have I been told to compress with my pelvis tucked under. I said to my P/T today that I think my body is very confused right now. What I have discovered is I don’t trust my left leg at all but I am working on it.

Actually Graham you have told me that before but it obviously didn’t sink in So thank you again

Something good happened for me though yesterday. I am a chicken when the surf is big, yesterday through my eyes it was big. Too big for me. But I ventured out because I was with my son and paddling out through the big stuff is fitness. But I got caught out by one wave, while paddling toward it, sh_tting myself, I decided to bail. While I was getting pulverised, I heard myself say 'Relax' and I did. Before I knew it I popped back up for air. That one word made everything alright.

Roxy, I assume that by 'adulting' you mean you have had to behave like an adult. All this surfing, surfskating leaves me feeling like an adolescent again, which would be fine, if only I weren't be compelled to buy so many Converse High Top sneekers. 

I think it has become more confusing since the Live Feedback session. More people are posting which is fantastic, I'm so glad Clayton made reference to the group, but I am finding it more difficult to follow things

So Graham When I left my last message I went back to what my phone said was insiders I scrolled down and there were loads of video’s I hadn’t seen Some said it was posted 3 months ago So I have no idea

Yes Graham I seem to find posts on my phone that aren’t on my desktop? It takes forever to find someone’s post if I am going back for a second look at a video or something they have suggested to me. I only found this because I went to the community site not the insiders site